Wednesday, January 06, 2010

"Dude, Where's my Followers?" New Feature to Prevent Drunken Tweets

A new feature will soon be available to prevent embarrassing tweets, morning regrets, and mass unfollows.

"Between the failwhales, the Service Unavailable 503 messages, and the new RT feature, Twitter has already covered most of the bases to make the service as confusing as all hell to the inebriated user," said a trusted inside source who refused to be identified.

But now, there will be an extra layer of protection. Excessive Typos, repeated use of the backspace key, and prolonged moments of inactivity while the drunken user stares at the screen trying to decipher his or her unintelligible text will now trigger a new algorithm requiring the user to enter a two-word, case-sensitive Captcha before the tweet will be posted.

The algorithm will remain active in the associated account for a period of six hours or until tweet quality dramatically improves.

"The ultimate intention is to keep the twitstream relatively sober," the insider said. "Plus, it'll help reduce all the late-night @replies @Alyssa_Milano gets from guys saying how hot she was in junior high. It really puts an incredible strain on the servers."

The new feature will be rolled out very, very slowly.

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4 Comments:

Blogger keeper of dreams said...

Now that is Hilarious great post

1:04 AM  
Blogger iPenginBrijhe said...

You know what, love. Well said. :)

1:23 AM  
Blogger nada sharon said...

Hilarious!

11:23 PM  
Blogger Luna said...

You are pure genius :)
thanks for the laugh to take me to bed
works with pot too.. so I've been told :)~

1:54 AM  

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